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JANA HOCKING: The insane reason why all of these hot, successful women are still single


The dating world is in a state of disarray! I came to this conclusion last weekend after I invited my girlfriends over for a glass of champagne before a fancy lunch at Icebergs.

As I looked around my loungeroom I realised that all my friends are absolute catches. Not only are they gorgeous, but they’ve also got great jobs, comfortable wages and are ridiculously good company.

And it’s not just this group of girlfriends, I have at least two other groups who are all in the same boat.

And yet… they are ALL single!

Not for want of trying, may I add. We spent the afternoon recounting hilarious dating stories, sharing the bonkers things we had seen on dating apps and pondering why dudes insist on sharing gym selfies #ick.

All my friends are absolute catches. Not only are they gorgeous, but they've also got great jobs, comfortable wages and are ridiculously good company. Yet¿ they are ALL single!

All my friends are absolute catches. Not only are they gorgeous, but they’ve also got great jobs, comfortable wages and are ridiculously good company. Yet… they are ALL single!

What we’re after isn’t anything too crazy. A nice guy who is well put together, has emotional intelligence, a decent job and is nice to women. And dogs. Definitely dogs.

So where are these guys? Well, my original thought was ‘Oh I know, they’re chasing after the girls in their 20s’. I asked one guy in my office what he got up to the weekend and he said he had his girlfriend’s 21st birthday. He’s 37. 

As he was complaining about how immature her friends were, and the lack of nice wines to choose from at the boat cruise they were on, I thought well why the heck are you dating a 21-year-old.

Yes, it’s horrendously judgemental of me, but seriously. What do they talk about when not going at it like rabbits?

I've been thinking for quite a while that the reason we're all single is because my gorgeous friends and I are getting passed over by the blokes we fancy, because we're too old

I’ve been thinking for quite a while that the reason we’re all single is because my gorgeous friends and I are getting passed over by the blokes we fancy, because we’re too old

But I began to think perhaps the issue is that I, and my friends, have paved out lives we absolutely adore and if we're going to add a man to our life then they must be on the same level or higher. You can't detract, you must add to my life

But I began to think perhaps the issue is that I, and my friends, have paved out lives we absolutely adore and if we’re going to add a man to our life then they must be on the same level or higher. You can’t detract, you must add to my life

I’ve been thinking for quite a while that the reason we’re all single is because my gorgeous friends and I are getting passed over by the blokes we fancy, because we’re too old. In fact, it is safe to assume we’re not even registering on many guys our age dating apps, because they’ve set their age limits from 20 to – at a scrape – 30 years old.

Isn’t that wild. And yes, I am very much expecting my Instagram DMs to be filled with messages from men ranting on about the fact I shouldn’t have put my career before men and babies. And that I’m too picky. Oh, and my favourite ‘I’ve hit a wall.’ (Side note: Why do so many men love using the term ‘You’ve hit a wall.’ It’s always from some hairy, balding bloke who scratches his nuts in social settings. Ok mate.)

I beg to differ dear cranky gents. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my skin, I don’t want children, and I’ve adored every moment chasing after a career I want.

But there has to be a more valid reason why all my girlfriends and I are single, than just some shallow dudes who want a pretty young thing on their arm.

So, after some more pondering I began to think perhaps the issue is that I, and my friends, have paved out lives we absolutely adore and if we’re going to add a man to our life then they must be on the same level or higher. You can’t detract, you must add to my life.

For so long I've ranted about my refusal to loosen my standards or settle for any ol' bloke. But have I been going on dates with guys who are vastly different to me? Nope

For so long I’ve ranted about my refusal to loosen my standards or settle for any ol’ bloke. But have I been going on dates with guys who are vastly different to me? Nope

And this was beginning to feel a little more on the money, especially when I floated it to a bunch of women at a work meeting yesterday.

Then I stumbled across a book that proved this theory in a way, stating that there is a genuine man deficit in place right now for career women. Author Jon Birger wrote a book about it called ‘Date-onomics: How dating became a lopsided numbers game’. In it, he details why there are so many women struggling to find ‘Mr Right’ and it all comes down to numbers. Saying, ‘It’s not women’s fault, it’s the demographics’.

According to Birger, the problem with women living in big cities right now, is that there are far more university graduated women than men. He said that if women would like a man who is on the same education level as them, they will struggle.

And the men who are, are more likely to play the field and delay marriage, because there are so many women in oversupply for them to choose from.

He said the solution is for women to be more open-minded about who they are willing to date. And here’s a plot twist for you, I think he’s right.

The girls and I have vowed to broaden our dating field and start going to places outside of the city bubble. Can't hurt, right?

The girls and I have vowed to broaden our dating field and start going to places outside of the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?

For so long I’ve ranted about my refusal to loosen my standards or settle for any ol’ bloke. But have I been going on dates with guys who are vastly different to me? Nope.

I tend to go white-collar. Sure, I dabbled with a few footy players in the past but that was just for fun. Perhaps I should be dating guys who didn’t go to uni. Or took up a trade, or here’s an idea… a farmer!

Maybe we’re all single because we’ve only been sticking to what we know. Maybe my Mr Right is currently trying to herd sheep into a shearing shed, and I’ve been attempting to look for him in a fancy wine bar. Wrong place Jana!

So, in the fine words of Taylor Swift ‘It’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me’.

The girls and I have vowed to broaden our dating field and start going to places outside of the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?



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